THE RESENTMENT BUSTER
The Resentment Buster is one of our most potent and specific Spiritual Techniques. It is used to break up the deepest and most resistant of resentments. It is a strategy that has several steps to it so it requires a good deal of planning and effort. The payoff is substantial as the Resentment Buster has ALWAYS succeeded. Credit for this success is attributed to the years of repeated experimentation, testing and application of this technique to real world situations and to real member's resentments. It is STRONGLY suggested that one does the Resentment Buster with a Qualified FUA Sponsor or with someone who has firsthand experience with using this Spiritual Technique. It is also suggested that you have completed up through Step Eight of the FUA 12 Steps before using this Spiritual Technique.
As Financial UA defines it, a Resentment is ANY feeling that keeps coming back. It usually has negative energy to it and also has an obsessive quality about it. It preoccupies a person, it intoxicates a person with intense feelings that have never been resolved or discharged. While "under the influence" of a resentment, a person is still raging over the hurts of the past. Resentments are typically painful feelings that linger as the emotional residue of unresolved past experiences or trauma. Resentments are like emotional ghosts from our past that continue to haunt us, and which parasitically steal power from us. Resentments feed on our life force and diminish our ability to be fully present in the moment, because we are crippled by the wounds and are emotionally stunted by the hurts from our past -- still grieving over the lack of closure, feeling our hurts have never been validated, and finding ourselves unable to move on with our lives.
The following process describes how to do the Resentment Buster:
You will need two (2) envelopes. Begin to put money into both envelopes, however much you can afford, even if you can only start with loose coins. As you take each positive action, in the suggested order, reward yourself by putting money into both envelopes. You also will need access to a Qualified FUA Sponsor and access to safe 12 Step Meetings of your choosing.
Write a letter going into great detail about your Resentment -- describing the pain, the suffering & the original trauma. This letter is typically directed TOWARD the person, institution or source whom you feel has wronged you. This letter is an opportunity for you to speak and share YOUR truth.
Take this letter to your Qualified Sponsor and read it aloud while your Sponsor holds the space for you.
Take this letter to a SAFE meeting where you can be COMPLETELY anonymous and read it aloud during your share, asking the group to hold the space for you. Prepare the group by briefly explaining what you need to do and clarify what boundaries you need to be observed so you can feel safe to read your letter.
Write a letter TO YOU on behalf of the person, institution or source whom you feel wronged you. Give that party a voice, channel that voice and write down what they wish to say to you...even if it is negative or hostile. Give that negative voice an opportunity to speak its truth.
Take that letter to your Qualified Sponsor and read it aloud while your Sponsor holds the space for you.
Take that letter to a SAFE meeting where you can be COMPLETELY anonymous and read it aloud during your share, asking the group to hold the space for you to speak and share the truth as the OTHER party sees it. Prepare the group by briefly explaining what you need to do and clarify what boundaries you need to be observed so you can feel safe to read your letter.
Write a "Thank You" letter to the person, institution or source whom you feel wronged you. Thank them for everything they taught you about yourself. Provide details. Thank them for how they expanded your ability to experience your own humanity including the vulnerability, fragility and wide range of emotions all humans have access to. Thank them if possible for bringing your worst side out of you and for now opening the door for you to demonstrate the best side of you. Elaborate as best as you can. This your opportunity to speak your truth about the HERO you wish to become.
Share this "Thank You" letter with your Qualified Sponsor and read it aloud while your Sponsor holds space for you.
Take this "Thank You" letter to a SAFE meeting where you can be COMPLETELY anonymous and read it aloud during your share. Explain to the group ahead of time what you are doing and what boundaries you need them to respect while you read this letter.
Write a "Thank You" letter on behalf of the party that has wronged you. Give them a voice and channel that voice. Let them thank you for what you have taught them, how you have expanded their experience of their own humanity. Allow them to speak their truth and write the letter for them.
Share this "Thank You" letter with your Qualified Sponsor and read it aloud while your Sponsor holds space for you.
Take this "Thank You" letter to a SAFE meeting where you can be COMPLETELY anonymous and read it aloud during your share. Explain to the group ahead of time what you are doing and what boundaries you need them to respect while you read this letter.
Imagine the party who has wronged you. If they could offer YOU a gift to represent their desire to make amends with you, to make you whole, to set things right and give you the closure and peace to move forward with your life, what would that gift look like? Use one money filled envelope to buy that gift for yourself on their behalf.
Share about this gift with your Qualified Sponsor and within a safe meeting. Process this experience while they hold space for you.
Imagine if you could give the other party an ANONYMOUS GIFT to appreciate what they taught you about yourself, to appreciate how they acted in partnership with you to expand your experience of humanity. If you are able to send that party the gift in an anonymous manner, consider doing so. If that party is unavailable or poses a danger in any way, you may consider offering that gift to a surrogate -- giving that gift to a different and unrelated party.
Share about this second gift with your Qualified Sponsor and within a safe meeting. Process this experience while they hold space for you.